why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
