I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
no you cant smoke seaweed
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
