Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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