I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
