She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
