Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
