Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
