Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
