Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
