i can't believe i had my finger in that
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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