her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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