grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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