she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
