i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
