I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
