It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i came on her dog
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
