My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
