I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
