Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
