Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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