I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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