Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
