I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
