he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
