I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
