Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
