I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
