He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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