Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
