we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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