i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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