the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
