I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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