if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
is that a dick in a sweater?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
