I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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