Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i think my cat just said my name.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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