What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
