the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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