Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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