Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
