I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
