he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
