why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
