he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
