that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
