TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
