You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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