Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
