Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
