First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
